KamaSutronics

Good news!  Eclectic Electric, aka Violet Wanda, aka violet-wands.com, is closing its doors.  This has been one of the most unethical purveyors of sex toys out there.  Some people paid hundreds of dollars for products they never received.  Many, many more were tricked into buying products like a violet wand dildo that didn’t do what they thought it would, or a violet wand flogger that requires constant maintenance to prevent it from disintegrating.

This was a really bad company, selling really bad products.  Now, a lawsuit has forced them to liquidate their company, and that’s a victory for all of us.

But it’s too early to rest.  It looks like the owners might be bringing their sleazy business back to life under a new name, Mjolnir.

I did something rude recently.

A woman posted on her blog about a particular sex toy. She loved it. She shared her experiences, and her excitement, and she shared it in a way that was both personal and universal, inviting her readers to participate vicariously in her experience.

So here’s me. I know this particular sex toy. I know it inside and out. I bought my first one in 2004. I have used older models and newer models, normal models and more powerful models. I have experimented with this sex toy on perhaps thirty different women, and I’ve used it with my girlfriend over and over for about five years. I have opened it up and tinkered with its mechanisms. I have modulated its power supply to create computer-programmed sequences. I have used many different attachments over the years, of varying shapes and materials. I have used this toy in conjunction with fucking machines, suction devices, electricity, heat and cold and more, and I understand how its sensations interact, muted by some, heightened by others.

So here are these two different people, both writing from a place that is genuine. One writes to discover and share, the other writes to educate. Both want to make the world a little better by helping people understand sex toys.

I commented on her blog. I had some knowledge I thought she (and others) might find useful. In retrospect, I see that my approach clashes with hers. To some degree, I can’t even see how a useful dialogue could strike up between us. I could tell her 250 different tricks and techniques to upgrade this toy, but the transmission of knowledge is unidirectional, and for me to walk up to a woman on her voyage of discovery and offer, unbidden, to share my secrets, is condescending. There’s more than a whiff of patriarchy about it.

And yet I _do_ have this knowledge, and I _do_ have this experience. I wasted thousands of dollars on bad toys, when I was getting started, and I began this blog in part to steer people away from mistakes that are easy to make. I wanted to steer people away from the $500 piece of beautiful junk and towards the $50 innovative masterpiece.

When I was updating this blog frequently, I sought out the community of sex-toy bloggers, but I never managed to form connections within that community. I thought, at the time, that had a lot to do with my focus on the kind of sex toys that are prohibitively expensive and aesthetically edgy — fucking machines, e-stim, pulsating suction, and so on. Now I’m wondering if the excitement within that community comes from the joy of making discoveries, discoveries about oneself and about technology. I’m wondering if my share-the-knowledge approach shuts down that excitement.

Is it possible for my approach to interact with the approaches of other sex toy bloggers in a positive, productive manner? Can expertise interact with discovery without diminishing the discovery?

I would like to hear any advice, suggestions, or insights. Bring ‘em on.

I’d been distracted.  My energies were focused elsewhere.  I hadn’t been working on this blog.

And then, today, I happened to find a list of The Ten Best Sex Toys, as compiled by the British newspaper, The Independent.  It’s from September 2008.  It’s an egregious pile of horse dung.

Women aren’t china dolls.  The best sex toys for women do not need to be pink, they do not need to be lacy, they do not need to be attended by fluffy bunnies and a Disney soundtrack.  What they need to do is provide pleasure.  This simple fact eludes the sex experts at The Independent.

The author seems to think that all women are terrified of sexual experiences.  She thinks that the best sex toys are the least threatening — and she doesn’t consider any criteria, like, “does this feel good” or “is this well-designed.”  It’s offensive, and it disempowers women.

Satin ribbon.

The list starts out with satin ribbon for bondage. “If you don’t find the idea of being tied up with metal handcuffs arresting, try a less menacing restraining device,” says the author, who recommends this “cream ribbon” instead.  Let’s overlook the fact that it’s simply a satin ribbon available in any fabric shop for a fraction of the price.  Let’s focus on the simple fact that satin isn’t a very safe material for bondage. Struggle in it, squirm in it, or even just tie it too quickly, and you’re going to risk friction burns.  “Less menacing” indeed.  Bondage experts recommend using rope that’s at least a quarter of an inch thick, wrapped around several times to distribute the weight.

Spanker.

The #2 “best sex toy” is a satin-covered, heart-shaped spanker.  Once again, satin is not actually a good material for this.  Leather, rubber, even plastic can be trailed along the skin for erotic sensations during a paddling.  But what about things like the springiness of the handle?  The weight in your hand?  The sound it makes?  How it actually feels?  None of these considerations merited the author’s concern — after all, it’s pink!  It’s shaped like a heart!  And it has little hearts printed on it!

It’s so hard for me not to lose the thread and start shouting “fuck you, just fuck you” over and over, at this point.

Ring.

#3, the Seven Pearls Massage Ring, isn’t necessarily bad, but the only reason it’s on this list is that it’s purteh.  It sure is pretty.  It’s pre-e-e-etty.  Does it feel good?  I don’t know, and The Independent doesn’t care.

So we’ve gone through the first three of “the ten best sex toys,” and you know what?  I’ve noticed something.  None of them vibrate.  Must be an oversight.  I’m sure that will be rectified soon.  Won’t it?

Candle.

#4 is a soy-oil candle.  I’m a fan of soy-oil candles, for erotic purposes; they heat up, but not nearly hot enough to burn you.  Pour a little of the warm wax on your partner’s skin and rub it around.  It makes for a sexy start.  Of course, the linked candle is massively overpriced — trying to take advantage of the lack of good information about female sexuality.

And it’s still nowhere near the joy of a paraffin bath.

Dildo!

Oh look, #5 is an insertable!  It’s a ceramic dildo that can be made warm or cool, for a few minutes.  It’s a relief to see The Independent acknowledge, at last, that women have vaginas, but the author’s preference for style over substance is still roaring forward.  “Created in collaboration with ceramist Adele Brydges, this is an unusually sightly dildo,” says the author.  Yes, it’s “unusually sightly,” but does it feel good? It’s ridiculously expensive, and ridiculously fragile — ceramic, after all.

I’m glad they’ve included a dildo as one of “the ten best sex toys,” but so far there’s still nothing that vibrates.

#6 is edible body paint.  The author has clearly never tasted edible body paint.  I have.  It tastes like sweetened vomit.

Moving forward, we find a book of slightly naughty photos, followed by a pair of massively overpriced pasties.  Good effing God.  Nobody finds pasties erotic.   A woman wearing pasties is going to be supremely self-conscious; the observer’s eye is deflected to her stomach.  If you were going to choose a sexy item of clothing, it would be a pair of killer heels, or black boots that go allllll the way up, or lingerie, or a corset.  Not.  Goddamn.  Pasties.

I’m still waiting for a vibrator….

#9 on the list is a g-string, with the pearl-strings, and #10 is a Liberator wedge — an overpriced cushion.

There is nothing on that list that vibrates.

That list of “the ten best sex toys” does not include a single vibrator.

Betty Dodson went around America and the world teaching women to get off.  She taught them how much they’d been missing.  She taught them to have huge, amazing orgasms, and she taught them something more fundamental; she taught them that their pleasure matters.

She taught women to use two tools.  First Dodson taught them to strengthen their vaginal muscles by using a “Dodson barbell” — a steel rod with round steel balls on it.  Then she taught them to use an imported back massager, called a Hitachi, to explore their pleasure and satisfaction.

Neither the Dodson barbell nor the Hitachi was pink.  Neither was covered in satiny hearts.  But they changed women’s lives.  They showed women that they matter.  These two industrial-looking toys changed how women saw themselves, how they felt about sex and their bodies.

The Independent’s list indicates a giant step backwards.  The author sees women’s sexual pleasure as something frightening.  Women are advised to take teensy-weensy steps towards sexual pleasure.  Any further out is the dark and dangerous territory, Here Abide Monstres.

And this is the reason I began this blog.  I want to continue Betty Dodsn’s revolution.  I want to help women understand their bodies in relation to the work of inventors and toy designers.  I want to shine light onto those areas that women might find scary, but shouldn’t: not just vibrators, but suction, erotic electricity, fucking machines, and more.

from fotodigital.ro via art-or-porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #32? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #34? Submit it here before Sunday June 21st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Njoy Pure Wand Giveaway! Deadline: Friday, June 19th at noon Eastern Standard Time.
• Blowfish Swag Contest Giveaway #1 Deadline: June 22nd
• Name That Sex Toy! Deadline: 11:59 PST June 26th

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

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I posted a review of the ShockSpot fucking machine a few weeks ago.  In it I said that the ShockSpot had a four-inch thrust, which is simply not enough.  This information was out of date; the ShockSpot’s designers have upgraded to a six-inch thrust.

This is the problem with reviewing devices that are made by tinkerers.  The folks who invented the ShockSpot, like the folks who invented the HugHer, are constantly twiddling with their products.  If there’s something wrong with the current design, you can wait a few weeks and there will be a new version with an improved design.

Restless minds, never content to say that what they have is “good enough.”  Gotta love ‘em.

I need to re-examine the upgraded ShockSpot in closer detail before I can give more detailed feedback.  It does look to me like the inventors are still asking the wrong questions.   They ought to be asking “what do people need from a fucking machine and its interface?”  But instead they’re asking “how can we engineer our machine so it can communicate with more and more high-tech gadgets? How can we design our machine to make it an mp3 player, a video camera, and a microwave oven?”

The ShockSpot crew still seems to be missing two key principles.  One of them is the design principle known as “transparency.”  The idea here is that the technology should be so unobtrusive that it seems to be invisible.  Not every gadget is supposed to be transparent — for instance, part of the value of the iPhone is that it’s a status symbol.  You pull an iPhone out of your pocket and everyone knows you’re the kind of person who has an iPhone.  Looking at your iPhone, tapping the screen, lets everyone know you’re tech-savvy and trend-aware.  You’re hip, au courant, and well-to-do.  The iPhone is NOT transparent, and it’s not meant to be.

The interface for your fucking machine should be transparent.  You want your energy and attention focused on your partner, not on your interface.  It’s absurd to be gazing at a screen in the middle of sex.

And, unless voice-control technology has advanced in ways I’m not familiar with — which CAN happen — then voice-control is clumsy and slow, no more “transparent” than a touchscreen interface you need to stare at.

The other principle is what Heidegger called “vorhandenheit.”  Vorhandendheit is the quality of being to-the-hand.  A hammer fits into your hand like an extension of your body.  Learn to use a sword, and you can swing it in the dark; over time, it becomes a part of you, your second nature.  This is how our bodies work, our hands and nervous systems.  Touch grows more confident over time, and the objects in one’s hand become extensions of your body.

To understand vorhandenheit, one doesn’t need to search for examples as esoteric as a samurai holding his katana.  Watch any kid with a PlayStation or an Xbox.  They don’t need to look at the controller and decide which button to push, which trigger to pull.  It’s second nature; they see and hear things, and their hands respond, instantly, expertly.

The ShockSpot has many interfaces — high-tech, impressive interfaces, like BlueTooth, smartphone, voice-control, and so on.  But with each of these interfaces, even a seasoned user is going to have to take time away from the action, and focus instead on the interface.  None of them will ever become vorhanden.

__________________

I also accused the makers of promoting their product through deceptive marketing.  I suggested that they made posts on the internet pretending to be consumers raving about their own product.  The makers have denied this.  I’m not sure I believe them.

A weekly roundup of news items involving sex toys.  I am hoping to gain a better understanding of the role of sex toys in contemporary life, and to observe subtle trends.

At the Queer Women of Color Festival, attendees will have the opportunity to watch a short film that asks the question, What to Do After A Break-up….with the S#x T@ys.

The left-leaning political website Alternet condemns states that outlaw sex toys, in a roundup of 15 Shocking Tales of How Sex Laws Are Screwing the American People.

Morbidity and gossip meet in the discourse around the death of actor David Carradine.  Shoshana Arazy, the owner of Susie’s Delights in Tarzana, California, announced that Carradine had been a frequent shopper there, and even shared a list of his favorite shopping items.  Let’s hope the store’s other patrons are aware of their confidentiality policy.

“A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do,” says Blake to Olivia, after finding her shopping for sex toys.  Soap operas aren’t what they used to be.

cnet tv reports that developers can use the new iPhone 3G as a sex toy.  Users can program their own patterns in the vibration. Gizmodo wrote about this in March, exploring the ramifications.

The San Francisco Weekly blogs about locally-held patents for sex toys.

via art-or-porn from www.nuexpo.com

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #31? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #33? Submit it here before Sunday June 14th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Summer Lustin’ – Had Me a Blast… Deadline: June 12th
• Giveaway: Win two bumpy glass dildos! Deadline: June 12th, 2009 at midnight PDT.
• Gag Anyone? Deadline: June 12, 2009 11:59pm
• Blowfish Swag Contest Giveaway #1 Deadline: June 22nd

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

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My friend Kristi loved anal sex, and she loved electrical play.  She was terrified of the two together.  The image in her mind was having her ass jolted, screaming.

Half an hour later, she was face-down on my bed, gurgling happily.  The plug was smooth, and it had gone in warm and wet.  I watched the plug move in her butt. “This is so relaxing,” she said.

I’ve done a fairly thorough overview of electrified vaginal plugs, and I thought I’d review some anal electrodes.

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The Plow/Probe

(also known as the Probe Plus.)

This was the first fucking machine I bought.  I was delighted.

I’d made a fuckzall previously, and the women I’d tried it with had responded… well, better than I could have hoped.  There were loud, extreme, extravagant orgasms, knocking furniture over in other states.

So it was only a matter of time before I upgraded.  I chose to buy the eXtreme Plow, a dark and gleaming thing from Orgasm Alley.

I didn’t know that the technology was just minutes away from being out of date.

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