KamaSutronics

SexToys.com is granting wishes!

The Hitachi Magic Wand.

http://www.sextoys.com/product/VT250/Hitachi-Magic-Wand/

Ever since 1974, when Betty Dodson taught women to get their O going with this heavy duty back massager, the Hitachi Magic wand has been a favorite of sex educators and sex outlaws alike.  I’d like an additional Hitachi to modify for my girlfriend.  I’ll turn it into a variable-speed vibrator, I’ll make it a clitoral pump (with pulsating suction), and I’ll make it conduct electricity for a TENS unit.

Enema Syringe

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE0372-11/Enema-Syringe/

With the hand-pump and the one-way valve, the Enema Syringe means I won’t have to hang up an enema bag in order to squeeeeeeeeze that warm water into a woman’s colon.  Sometimes I’ll include white wine or sake in the water, to make a woman get drunk without drinking anything.

Pjur Eros Original Bodyglide 1000ml

http://www.sextoys.com/product/PJ11081/Pjur-Eros-Original-Bodyglide-1000ml/

For a long ride on a fucking machine, nothing beats Pjur Eros. The non-sticky, long-lasting silicone means that thrusting dildo will do its duty of in-n’-out, in-n’-out, long as it takes.

Rubber Harness with Strap

http://www.sextoys.com/product/DJ0789-00/Rubber-Harness-with-Strap/

I’ve been wanting to make the Harness o’ Doom for a while now. Something attached to a woman’s body, holding in a temperature-controlled warmer, a pair of electrodes, and a vibrating disc. It would need to have an open crotch, so my hands or a fucking machine or an electrified dildo can do its job while the harness heats, vibes, and shocks the clit.

Peek-a-Boo Harness by Sportsheets

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SS696-06/Peek-a-Boo-Harness-by-Sportsheets/

I’d like to see how the Peek-a-Boo harness can be modified to hold various pleasure-toys along the genital region.

The Kama Diva Bubble Plug Rainbow

http://www.sextoys.com/product/GL9615/Kama-Diva-Bubble-Plug-Rainbow/

I’m really curious about urethane.  I’d like to place a strip of copper tape along each side, and turn this beautiful penetrator into a bipolar, electrified butt plug.  The electricity will force the sphincter to contract and release, contract and release, in time with the electrical pulses; the contractions will force the plug in and out, simulating anal sex.

Universal Silicone Sleeve for Pump

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE1045-00/Universal-silicone-sleeve-for-pump/

This one is for another modification!  I’d like to attach this sleeve to a plumbing fixture, attach the plumbing fixture to a Hitachi, and strap two strips of conductive rubber around the sides.  This will allow me to make a Hitachi that sucks the clit, electrifies it, and vibrates like a Hitachi.  Yum!

Tickle Teaser Purple Clitoral Teaser by California Exotic

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE0762-14/Tickle-Teaser-Purple/

I’m really curious about this one.  If I use a microphone stand with a boom arm to hold this on a clit, I think the pulsatronics will create a continuously interesting sensation while I go to town on the labia and the vagina — fucking machines, e-stim dildos, fisting, and so on.  Its precise tip and the ten levels of pulsation and vibration could go together nicely.

Selene Vibrating Clitoral Pump

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE9755-14/Selene-Vibrating-Clitoral-Pump/

Oh baby!  This toy is supposed to suck the clitoris and vibrate.  It’s a GREAT start!  I’m planning to take the top of it of and mount it on an Eroscillator, so the vibration will be stronger and more precise.  Then I’m going to replace the silicone sleeves with conductive rubber, so I can run electricity from a TENS unit through the clit.  And I’m going to attach the suction tube to a syringe pump, so the suction will pulsate instead of being constant.

Universal Sex Swing Stand

http://www.sextoys.com/product/TO1453-7/Universal-Sex-Swing-Stand/

It’s made of steel.

I broke my last one.

No, I’m not kidding.

Pixie Pink

http://www.sextoys.com/product/VT310/Pixie-Pink/

This is a fascinating, unusual vibrator.  There’s a hook-shaped projection at the tip; it moves forward and back, with a come-here motion.  It’s a great g-spot toy out of the box, but I, of course, am planning to mount it on a fucking machine.  I am what I am, after all.

We Vibe

http://www.sextoys.com/product/VTWEV/We-Vibe/

It’s better made than other vibrators in its class, like the Snugglepuss.  It’s still only got variable speeds, so I’m not sure how great it will be — no pulsatronics.  The We Vibe is designed for use during sex — so I want to see how it will function with a fucking machine.

Mighty Tidy Toy Cleaner

http://www.sextoys.com/product/HP1165/Mighty-Tidy-Toy-Cleaner/

Because dirty girls make toys dirty, and they need to be washed.

Rascal Deep Cleansing Kit

http://www.sextoys.com/product/TO9049-6/Rascal-Deep-Cleansing-Kit/

The enema tips have interesting shapes.  I’m planning to place strips of copper tape along the side, so I can electrify a woman’s sphincter before I administer the enema.

Dr. Joel’s Stroking Power Pump

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE5680-00/Dr-Joels-Stroking-Power-Pump/

What would it take to modify this into a pulsating clitoral pump?  If I win the contest, my blog readers will find out how I do it.

OhMiBod Music Driven Massager

http://www.sextoys.com/product/OMB01/OhMiBod-Music-Driven-Vibrator/

A vibrator driven by music?  Awesome.  I’d add it to electrostimulation driven by music, a massage cushion driven by music, and a lightshow driven by music, for a full-body, multi-sensual, multi-sexual encounter with music.

Infrared Electric Massager

http://www.sextoys.com/product/SE0034-11/Infrared-Electric-Massager/

Mmmm, warm.  Mmmm, vibey.

Trojan Magnum 12-pack

http://www.sextoys.com/product/CNVEF-EATJ64212/Trojan-Magnum-12-Pack/

I may be all about the cyborgasm, but at the end of the day I’m just a guy.  With a plus-size.

And all this madcap sexuality can be yours, for the low price of $961.42!  For details about the contest, read this.  I’m really hoping for the “kinkiest and most original” wish list.