KamaSutronics

The Banger

Ever get tired of browsing from one shop to another and seeing the same items over and over?  Ever want something that will startle and amuse you in a new way, or suggest erotic possibilities you hadn’t really considered?  Then this series is for you.

Today’s installment focuses on three items that seem to be from the same designer.  I can’t say for sure, because I CAN’T EVEN LOCATE A BRAND NAME ON THEM!  How awesome is that?  There’s an itty bitty little bit of my heart that just goes out to sex toy  inventors who have no idea how to do business.  They’re like the shy cute guy who can never get his courage up to talk to the girl at the party.

I’m going to talk about three toys, the Banger, the Jaunty Cock, and the Jaunty Cock Ebony.  I’ve only ever tried the Banger, but I think I know enough about stuff to comment on the other two designs.

The Banger rotates with surprising force.  Stronger than just about any other rotating dildo I’ve found, except the Vibratex Thundercloud and the Sybian.  Of course, you could always mount a curved dildo on a Drilldo, and then you’d have access to the power of a power tool.

The Banger rotates and vibrates.  It’s a strong, sturdy, solid performer.  Coupled with a good clitoral vibrator, like a Hitachi or an Eroscillator, the Banger can work wonders, filling and moving and squirming inside like a live thing.  The Banger loads nicely into a fucking machine, especially one equipped with a spring, like a HugHer or a fuckmachine from OrgasmAlley with the spring accessory.  The Banger can be effectively and simply electrified with a strip of conductive rubber running vertically from the base, over the tip, and back down to the base again.

The Banger is sadly made from one of those icky materials all the self-appointed sex educators warned you about, so make sure it wears a condom.

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The Jaunty Cock Ebony

That brings us to the Jaunty Cock and the Jaunty Cock Ebony, a pair of misbegotten monstrosities of Frankensteinian proportions.  As you might recall, Dr. Frankenstein’s mistake was in assuming that science should do everything science can do.  The Jaunty Cock’s inventors had some of that hubris going on when they flicked the switch.

What have they wrought???

It’s tremendous.  It doesn’t so much rotate as it swings. It swings fast and it swings in a wide circle.  Assuming you can get it inserted into an available hole, you’re going to have to deal with this behemoth turning and turning in its widening gyre.  The centre cannot hold.

It has a fuckable sphincter, in case some guy wants to insert his schlong where the sun don’t shine while watching the jaunty monster trace its orbit over and over.

Oh, and it moans, too.  In a woman’s voice.

I wonder if it says, “LOLWTF?”