KamaSutronics

I made my first fucking machine, and I was proud of it.  Then I bought a Probe Plus, from Orgasm Alley. The Probe Plus is a powerful machine; it thrusts up to 350 times per minute, with a stroke adjustable up to five inches.

And along came the HugHer. A technological marvel. A work of art. Breathtaking in its scope, beauty, and genius. I watched a video showing the ways it could move. I sat there, mesmerized. I was in loooooove.

You need to see it in action to understand its magnificence.

Previous generations of fuckmachine could thrust. That’s all they did. In and out, in and out. They hold a steadier and more inexorable rhythm than any man ever could, but essentially, all they could do was thrust. They were like unaccomplished, unimaginative sex partners, driving in and out, in and out.

The HugHer was invented by a guy who goes by JPXXX.  He designed the HugHer to thrust like a brilliant lover. Any man can go in and out, in and out, but the great lovers have their own tricks. They tease. They tantalize. They have an arsenal of approaches — going slow, or inching in, or deep thrusts — and these motions are delivered with panache. The HugHer was programmed to be like that.

JPXXX started with the question, how can I make a machine into an incredible lover? And he delivered results.  Years of careful observation and knowledge of the female sexual response were built into the thrusting patterns.

The HugHer dances where other machines walk. Sure, it can thrust longer, harder, and faster than the older models, but it also gives control of things like acceleration, withdrawal speed, stroke depth, and more. It comes with more than a dozen preprogrammed dances, including a Tantra mode and the Taoist “Wu Hisen.” Our favorite so far is “Insist,” but we’re also pretty fond of “Stop-and-Go.” The ladies have a love/hate relationship with “Hit!”

This was giant steps beyond the previous generation. Hell, it was as if whole generations had been skipped.

After my HugHer arrived, I spent a few days playing with it — turning knobs, pressing buttons, seeing everything it can do. And it can do a lot. It’s definitely a satisfying toy for the gadget geek.

There are things out there that quickly exhaust their possibilities and cease feeling fresh. I’d include jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, and light-and-sound machines in this category. And then there are things that remain fascinating for a lifetime, things like music, language, computers, and rope bondage.

I think the HugHer belongs to this latter category. And I haven’t even tried to write my own programs yet. (I’m planning to write one in honor of Bo Diddley, who passed away recently, and another called Bolero following Ravel’s drum rhythm.)

The spring is also magic.

Think about the rigidity of the old fucking machines. If a woman on the receiving end of one moves her hips a little, or readjusts, the dildo will pound her in all the wrong ways. You’re forced to turn the machine off and reposition it.

The spring in the HugHer solves all that. She can move as she needs, get comfortable, and the shaft will bend to accommodate her motions.

It’s just fantastic.

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Why waste your money on a Sybian?  The HugHer is a better design.  Add a Hitachi if you need those powerful vibrations.